Of all the holidays, Christmas is certainly the most cinematized. And for every must-see Christmas classic, there are some really bad ones that end up in the stockings of the naughty boys and girls. For those naughty kids (you know who you are and you know what you did), here is your Christmas coal:
Santa Claus (1959)
Santa with Muscles (1996)
Another hilariously-bad entry, this story involves an evil millionaire (Terry "Hulk" Hogan) who gets amnesia and thinks that he's Santa Claus. A real heartfelt story of a man who... holy crap is that Mila Kunis? I guess she applied to the Samuel L. Jackson school of take every MF'in role that comes your way... which actually seems to have paid off. Unfortunately her child co-stars were not so lucky as they've both gone mostly into voiceover work. As for Hulk Hogan, well his life couldn't be much more depressing either. At least he proved that pro wrestling isn't ALL fake; Hogan couldn't act his way out of an inverted figure-four ankle lock.
Santa Conquers the Martians (1964)
Jingle All the Way (1996)
Black Christmas (2006)
Now don't get this confused with the original 1974 version of this movie, that one was actually good! This unnecessary remake takes the same plot of a group of girls stuck at their sorority house over Christmas break and the psycho who is stalking them. Honestly the two movies aren't that far off in quality, but it's a lot more forgivable in the 70's than it is in 2006... plus the original gets points for, well... originality. Though it revolves around Christmas, this is NOT your typical Christmas movie, so be twice warned.
Christmas Evil (aka You Better Watch Out) (1980)
I'll Be Home for Christmas (1998)
Remember when Jonathan Taylor Thomas was in the same league as Jessica Biel? Yeah, me neither. Near the end of his stint on Home Improvement and as a kickoff to his illustrious (?) movie career, Thomas stars as a college student who finds himself at the butt-end of some college hazing and must now find a way home in time for Christmas. Leaving his girlfriend (Biel) stranded he must save her from the arms of a rival on his way home. And it's as BAD as this premise is cheesy. Not even good-bad. Just bad.
Four Christmases (2008)
Ok, so not the worst on this list, but it is just so hard to suspend disbelief long enough to believe that a bloated Vince Vaughn is dating the smokin' Reese Witherspoon. Not stuck in a marriage, mind you, but dating. In the movie they spend the holidays visiting each of their divorced parents while learning more about each other through the experience. Yeah. It's a boring, generic story with one flat joke after the next. A lot of people like it for its simplicity, but I prefer my movies (especially comedies) a little more thoughtful.